[deja vu]

today i received news that my paternal grandfather is suffering from throat cancer. in fact that's the reason why my day came home. now those who know me will remember that my maternal grandfather passed away from lung cancer almost 4 years ago, and that i took it rather badly because my grandfather had a hand in bringing me up and making me what i am today. and although i'm not very close to my paternal grandfather, seeing him stick thin and complaining of bodily pains is making me reliving the awful memories of the past all over again.

God gimme a break. i'm not that strong.